Being Single During a Pandemic is Lonely: 5 Dating Ideas for Singles

I was in a relationship when the pandemic hit. After 8+ years, you would think that we were on the path of marriage, family but I could tell it wasn’t going as I planned. With my new reality, I did not have the energy to deal with it. We broke up after barely speaking for a week. Part of me was devastated, but it relieved some of my worries.

“Ok, I can use this to work on myself and build a stronger relationship with my family.”

Fastrack to 2021, the idea of things going back to ‘normal’ seems impractical. Societal distractions no longer exist; COVID cases are spiking, and mental stress is on a high. I began to wonder: Will I fall in love again? Am I having sex again? What affirmations should I be chanting to get the dating ball rolling?

Most of my girlfriends are married, so they have their battles. The concerns of my love life may not be on the front burner now. I can hear my religious friends reciting, ‘Girl, your husband coming, and that’s on God.’ I appreciated the ‘gas up,’ but it’s like my husband is with the prophets of the Lord in Isreal. Some friends talked about enjoying the single life; they have their comfort level with being single. I admired their calmness during the pandemic, engaged in cooking, starting a business, and so on.

I understand all that, but the pandemic has amplified lonely and stressful things about being single. A 35-year-old woman (lumped with the older generation) faced with the anxiety of being single forever, I have to change the narrative. With the internet distractions about failed relationships and ‘ghosting,’ I need to figure out how to balance the pandemic stress and personal life.

I started digging for ways to maintain a social life and meet new people within the COVID-19 restrictions. To my surprise, I found nothing. My country has not reached that innovative level of creating a space for singles to meet or socialize during the pandemic. I am not into zessing (that’s the only option I’ve seen), and online dating apps are trappy (I got catfished once). Am I the only 35-year old woman looking for casual dating? I am alone, once again. No one has brought forward this concern.

‘Nah, man!’

I know that it sucks for everybody, but it sucks in different ways. There is a need for the physical touch like the ’80s, and 90’s R&B promised us (Joe is my favorite). I feel guilty about expressing this; yet, I am confident that I am not alone. Since there weren’t any local remedies, I did an Internet search and found ways to socialize during the pandemic.

Make sure you are mentally ready and confident. You can find self-care rituals to feel more relaxed and less nervous about putting yourself out there.

Explore online dating apps. If you felt disappointed by past experiences (like me), now can be a great time to try again. Take it slow.

Lower expectations. Life is more a survival mode rather than living. It is important to acknowledge that.

Keep a conversation flowing. It can be challenging if you are a victim of mental stress. Topics like destinations, experiences, favorite places can ignite the conversation.

Start with a virtual date. It allows you to know the person more intimately. Games, cooking, watching a movie can be great selections for a virtual date.

What activities are you engaged in to appease your dating desires? I thought about increasing my Instagram activities or post frequently on Facebook, but it may attract quite the opposite. I can create a community for singles who want to mingle.

What do you think?