"Men have needs too."😐
I listened to the discussion on a virtual panel. It related to women understanding men's needs and how to address them. Honestly, it sounded submissive (I'm not a feminist) and, the examples given were ludicrous. So I decided to reach out to male friends to share my sentiments. To my surprise, I received an earful of the level of neglect they felt.
"That is the thankless position of the man in the family - the provider of all, and the enemy of all."
August Strindberg.
The infamous protest of what women want has been a topic for decades. We make assumptions that a man's role - the provider, the protector - defined who he was. Traditionally, women handled the domestic scene and, working men bring home the paycheck. The TV series "Mad Men" gave us a glimpse of the history of men back in the '60s with, Peggy Olson (character in the TV series) challenging the double standards in the treatment and expectations of men and women.
In the year of Millenials, gender diversity is a changing trend. More women are entering the workplace and providing for their households. Now, men may have to re-evaluate what it means to be a provider. It can be difficult to change the old ways of masculine behavior but, some men have accepted the new practices with no sense of diminished manhood. They are involved in domestic duties as well as providing financial stability in a household.
However, men and their needs are evolving. I discovered that underneath the simplicity, men are complicated. They want sex and women but, they also want to be loved, a good personality, cuddle, and the list goes on. It doesn't take a psychologist to know what men want. I created a poll for 20 men (8 married/ 12 single) to understand their needs and desires. These men are between the ages of 30 and 45. Ten statements were provided with True/False or Yes/No choices.
These are the results:
- 72.2% of men enjoy being surprised by their loved ones. Showing appreciation can make a huge difference.
- 88.9% of men say 'I Love You' by actions. He may say 'I Love You' by taking out the rubbish, fixing things around the house, or attending to domestic tasks.
- 52.9% of the men believe that women should initiate. Whether it's sex or dating, men usually lead when it comes to making the first move. The results were very close but, women should start making the first move.
- 66.7% of men may stray away when their needs aren't met. This does not refer to cheating only. Some men become fixated on sports, work, or video games. Like any human, the lack of love and appreciation may result in finding satisfaction elsewhere.
- 82.4% of men worry about body physique and stamina. As men age, they get performance anxiety. Help them learn to relax and make the situation less stressful.
- 72.2% of men take longer to commit. Is it safe to say that men are commitment-phobic and immature? Nothing is wrong with spending a few more months or years looking for red flags or running some tests. Let him walk with you before he runs.
- 44.4% of men strongly agreed that shared activities result in faster bonding in a relationship. By doing things together, it strengthens their relationships more than sharing thoughts and feelings.
- 94.4% of men don't pick up on clues. Most likely, they missed the signals (tone, facial expressions). If you have a problem, come direct.
- All men said intimacy is relevant. This is no secret. Studies have shown that men fantasize about sex twice as often as women. Although it is highly significant, men notice sexual intimacy to be most pleasurable within a committed relationship.
Based on the findings, men and women want the same things: love, praise, acknowledgment, respect, and happiness. With my own ignorance, I understood that submission isn't the term used in this situation. We should find balance. Men have a list. Women have a list - it's a complex situation. Men deserve to be loved as much as women (not most are bad). Once we remove the misconception of men and their needs, he just may guide you to the land of love.
Comments
Post a Comment